Family and/or Autobiography, On Writing

The House Husband 10 Commandments

I’ve been doing the House Husband thing for a month now. As long as I ignore the bloodletting, all is going quite well! 

To make sure things stay that way, I have composed a list of self-imposed Cardinal rules.

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  1. Thou shalt not leave the house – not even for an itty-bitty-not-even-getting-out-of-the-car moment – looking like a hobo. (On a related note, sweatpants are not pants. They are pajamas with a better PR campaign. Act accordingly.)
  1. Thou shalt not be afraid of the toilet brush; he is your staunch ally. Fight well, brothers.
  1. Thou shalt not grumble when The Wife leaves her stuff scattered around the house as if she had to suddenly flee from the police. She supports you now. Pick up her things and be nice about it.
  1. Thou shalt not forget that The Boy is a boy, and boys like to scatter things around the house. That said, The Boy does not support you like The Wife does, so The Boy must pick up his own crap.
  1. Thou shalt not fart about on the internet, except for the purpose of finding work or maintaining a blog. For only these are honorable online pursuits.
  1. Thou shalt not use housework and organization as an excuse to avoid writing.
  1. Thou shalt not use writing as an excuse to avoid housework and organization.
  1. Thou shalt not be complacent in thy new career. Stay hungry.
  1. Thou shalt not eat unhealthy lunches. Hot Pockets are not healthy. Brussels sprouts are too healthy. Find a middle ground. (Said Middle Ground may be a few steps closer to Hot Pockets.)
  1. Thou shalt not ever forget that this new chapter in your life is a dream come true – and that your family helped to make it true. Never forget. Never. Ever.