Author: heylookawriterfellow

Hi, my name is Mike Allegra. I like writing and people pay me to do it, which is wonderful. I also like waffles, but no one pays me to eat them, which is probably just as well.
Posted on

And the Pirate & Penguin Giveaway Winner Is….

First things first. My Boy (and Highly Esteemed Raffle Ballot Picker-Outer) came home from college! This made me very, very happy.

Yay!

His triumphant arrival means that we can finally find out who will win signed copies of Pirate & Penguin and Pirate & Penguin 2 Few Crew!

A $39.90 value!

The ballots have been written. The picker is unpacked and ready…

So let’s get started!

Okay, kid, you know what to do.

So what are you doing?

Ah! I get it.

The suitcase is a fine receptacle for picking a winner. It’s a symbol of your long absence.

Zipping up. Okay. Good.

Shaking it up. Okay. That oughta do it.

I think it’s shaken up now.

That’s good! That’s fine!

OH, FOR GOD’S SAKE! STOP SHAKING!

*sigh*

The Boy may be highly regarded for his ballot picking skills, but that doesn’t make him any less pesky.

Now pick a winner.

He’s got a ballot…

And the winner is…

SUSANNA LEONARD HILL!

Congrats, Susanna! You have won the big prize! Woo!

All you have to do now is scoot over to the “Hire Me” menu on this blog and send me an email. I’ll get signed books out to you in two shakes of a penguin’s tail!

***

Thank you to everyone who entered!

And, remember, if you still want copies of these books for you or your loved ones, you can buy them by clicking HERE and HERE.

In fact, I think you should totally do that.

Remember, books make treasured and thoughtful holiday gifts!

Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Winter Solstice, New Year’s Eve, and and about a jillion other things are just around the corner!

So you may want to consider buying in bulk, actually.

Take care, be well, and happy shopping!

Posted on

AHOY! AVAST! A CONTEST TO WIN MY BOOKS!

Gather ’round, my friends! I have good news!

Ten short days from today, one of my blog readers will win TWO of my books: Pirate & Penguin (2023) and its seafaring sequel, Pirate & Penguin 2 Few Crew (2024)!

I love these books. Kirkus loves them too! Read the reviews HERE and HERE.

It’s a pirate-and-penguin-palooza!

It’s a treasure trove of bountiful booty!

Most importantly, it’s really easy to enter.

How To Enter

To enter the contest, all you need to do is leave a comment below that answers the following question:

***

Who is your favorite cartoon character and why?

***

That’s it! Leave a comment and you’ll be entered in a random drawing to win signed copies of Pirate & Penguin and Pirate & Penguin 2 Few Crew!

And who will select this lucky winner?

Him:

This guy has been my loyal raffle picker for the past 12 years. When it comes to picking winners, he is second to none.

He is currently in Massachusetts doing some of that fancy college book-learnin’, but when I told him about this contest, he vowed to return to New Jersey next week! Isn’t that wonderful? He is traveling hundreds of miles from his school just to give someone free books!

If he can do that, the least you can do is enter for a chance to win.

How To Increase Your Chances of Winning

What’s that? You want me to stuff the ballot box in your favor?

No problem.

If you promote this contest on your blog, I’ll give you an extra ballot!

And if you promote this contest on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, that Blue Sky thing, or whatever else, I’ll give you an extra ballot for every social medial platform you post on!

And if you want to suggest a completely different way to promote the Pirate & Penguin contest, let me know what you have in mind; I’ll almost certainly give you an extra ballot for that, too!

That’s a lot of chances to win.

***

The random drawing will be held on on Friday, November 29.

The winner will be posted on this blog on Saturday, November 30.  

And that’s it! So leave a comment! Spread the word! Celebrate Pirates and Penguins! And win!

GOOD LUCK!

Posted on

Dear Deer,

Oh! Hey, big fella!

This is a welcome and unexpected surprise!

What brings you to my neck of the woods? Especially since I don’t have woods. Not even close. I have a postage-stamp-sized yard and live within spitting distance of the traffic-y hell of Route 22. There’s no place to hide here. There’s no room to run or frolic. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you’re here. Very happy. I just can’t imagine why you’re here.

I can’t even wrap my brain around how you got here. Did you cut through a jillion fenced-in backyards? Did you catch an Uber from the Watchung Reservation?

Maybe my animal-loving reputation precedes me. Did you talk to my squirrels? I don’t mean to boast, but those furry critters have been pretty pleased with me ever since I chased away the feral cats and supplemented their diets with Cheerios and Ritz Crackers. I’m pretty well known around these parts for being pro-rodent—though I prefer the term “prodent” if you don’t mind.

I’m pro-deer too. The other day I saw a sign along Route 22 that said, “Deer Solutions.” It was a company that promised to get rid of deer, which is nuts because I consider deer to be the solution. I mean come on! You’re so cute! My problems are solved just by looking at you!

And, yes, by all means, eat my hostas. I have to cut them back for the winter, anyway. In fact, eat whatever the hell you want. My yard is your all-you-can-eat buffet. Do you like blueberries? I’ve got a bush in the side yard. It’s yours.

I don’t even care if you carry Lyme’s Disease. I’ll wear a tick collar. That’s how much your cuteness maters to me.

In fact…

I just came up with an idea. Can I pitch you my idea?

What if we take this visit to the next level? I have a nice shed out back. I can clean it out and fill it with straw no problem. It’ll be cozy and dry and I’ll bring out some snacky-snacks for you on the regular. No rent, no lease, no problem. You can come and go as you please. I can keep you safe and happy this winter. I know I can.

What?

Oh…

No. No, I get it. You need to keep moving. You’re a Freebird.

No, no, I know you’re not a bird. That’s not what I meant. I was thinking of a song by Lynyrd Skynyrd. I don’t even know why I said that. There was no way you were going to get the reference.

Well, wait a minute. Hold on. Where are you going?

I get that the shed’s not your thing, and that’s cool, but do you need to leave right now? I’ve got lots of hostas that you didn’t even touch.

Would you like some leaves for the road, then?

I’ve got Tupperware. I could just…

I’m making this weird, aren’t I?

Sorry.

So…um…

Maybe I’ll see you around?

You come back whenever you want to, okay?

You are always welcome here.

Always.

Blog at WordPress.com.