Doodles ‘n’ Drawings – Page 8 – Hey, Look! A Writer Fellow!

March 30, 2016

Win A Doodle! Woo!

Here it is! The moment you have been waiting for! It is time once again for…

Thank you for the fanfare, Mr. Elephant.

A WIN A DOODLE CONTEST!

(Woo!)

IF YOU WIN, I WILL DRAW WHATEVER YOU WANT!

Don’t believe me? I have proof.

Past winners have asked for a Caffeine Gnome…

…a Protective Great Dane…

…a Yoga Practitioner Petting an Angel Dog…

…a Larcenous Cow…

…and a Raven Shapeshifter (whatever that is).

Also a gang of unseemly hooligans forced me to draw this guy:

As a consequence of this near-criminal harassment, my doctor tells me I now have PTSD (Post Traumatic Salamander Disorder).

So yes, I will draw whatever you want.

Well, I do have one exception; I will draw whatever you want provided that what you want is not pervy. I am a children’s book author, bucko, so take your dirty, filthy business someplace else!

HOW TO WIN

The winning name will be drawn at random. The draw-er is this guy.

That’s right, Daniel Craig will be drawing the winning entry!

HOW TO ENTER

To get your name in the drawing, leave a list of five words in the comments section below. They can be any words at all, but – and this is important – the words cannot be completely random. Each word must be connected to you in some way.

For example, here are my five words:

Capybara

Bert

Skipping

Juneau

Chip ‘n’ Putt

Here is how these five words are connected to me:

Capybara: The world largest rodent. Petting one is on my bucket list.

Bert: My favorite Muppet. If Bert was real, I am convinced he and I would be best friends.

Skipping: When I was in elementary school, my gym teacher called my mom to tell her some bad news: I was unable to skip. Mom’s reply: “Should I care?”

Juneau: Ellen and I went to Alaska on our honeymoon. We should’ve gone somewhere else.

Chip ‘n’ Putt: When I was unemployed in my 20s (which was distressingly often) I would round up my other unemployed friends and play rounds at the mini golf course.

See what I mean? The connection between you and the words doesn’t need to be deep or profound, it just needs to exist.

So give me five words for a chance to win!

HOW TO INCREASE YOUR CHANCE OF WINNING

Want me to stuff the ballot box in your favor? Fiiine. I’ll add two more ballots if you announce this contest on your blog and link back to this page. That’s three chances to win!

Don’t have a blog? No problem. I’ll give you one extra ballot if you announce this contest on your Facebook page or Twitter feed. (Be sure to post links in the comments.)

PRIZES! (PLURAL!)

As I mentioned, the winner of the drawing will get a custom made, one-of-a-kind, Mike Allegra doodle suitable for framing! Woo!

But the winner will also get something else:

An original, one-of-a-kind, Mike Allegra-penned story! This story will contain all five of the words you supplied to enter this contest. I can’t promise you a good story, but I will do my best.

So do me a favor and choose fun words, OK?

DEADLINES, ETC.

Your entry is due on or before Tuesday, April 5. The winner of the drawing will be announced on Wednesday, April 6.

That’s it! Give me five words and get going!

GOOD LUCK!

February 23, 2016

Giveaway Winner! (And A Quick, Unrelated Anecdote)

First the giveaway!

Last week I interviewed the lovely and talented Robin Newman, author of the new picture book, Hildie Bitterpickles Needs her Sleep.

Because Robin is as generous as she is lovely and talented, she offered up a copy of Hildie for a giveaway! Wasn’t that nice?

Well, the ballots are in and the winner is…

NANCY TANDON!

Congrats, Nancy! Head on up to the “Hire Me!” menu and drop me an email.

And thanks again, Robin, for being lovely, talented, and generous!

***

Since this post is a bit short, I decided to also offer up a quick, unrelated anecdote:

When my wife, Ellen, was pregnant with our son, she and I signed up for a birthing class at a nearby hospital. There we met another pregnant woman who loved to share very long and uncomfortably personal stories about her life.

As she relayed these stories, her husband would sit beside her and attempt to become invisible. The couple made quite an impression on me.

So, during class, I sketched them as frogs.

The birthing class was for five weeks. This is the extent of my notes. — The birthing class was for five weeks. This was the extent of my notes.

February 9, 2016

Love Is In The Air

The lovely and talented Susanna Leonard Hill is having another blog contest! I like to enter those. So I did.

The rules are simple: In 214 words or fewer, entrants must write a Valentine’s Day story where one of the characters is grumpy.

Enjoy!

Cranky Cupid

Corky smiled down on his loyal platoon. “Today’s the day! Today we launch our arrows in a war against loneliness!”

The cupids cheered. Well, most of them:

“Harrumph.”

Corky ignored this. “Today we make the world a happier place!”

“Harrumph!” the heckler repeated. He followed it up with worst swear word he could think of:

“Stinkypooperpot!”

“Gerald!” Corky barked. “Watch your language!”

“Why do we have to wear this?” Gerald grouched.

“You’re not wearing anything.”

“I know! Why do cupids need to be naked? Why must we show the world our creased caboodles? Why do we let everyone peep at our dingle wingle do-dahs?”

“Because it’s the rule,” Corky stammered.

“Why can’t we wear suits?”

“Because we can’t!”

The other cupids peered down at their own naked pudginess.

“Why can’t we?” one asked.

“A suit would be flattering!”

“And flashy!”

“No!” Corky boomed. “The rule is…”

He trailed off, for Corky’s mind flashed to an almost forgotten time many years ago…

“The rule is…” he tried again.

…when a pair of young lovers giggled at his blorpy bottom.

“The rule is…”

The memory turned him red all over.

“The rule is…” Corky announced, “STUPID!”

The cupids cheered.

That year The Suited Cupids spread the love and took the fashion world by storm.