Love Is In The Air

The lovely and talented Susanna Leonard Hill is having another blog contest! I like to enter those. So I did.

The rules are simple: In 214 words or fewer, entrants must write a Valentine’s Day story where one of the characters is grumpy.

Enjoy!

Be-Suited CupidCranky Cupid

Corky smiled down on his loyal platoon. “Today’s the day! Today we launch our arrows in a war against loneliness!”

The cupids cheered. Well, most of them:

“Harrumph.”

Corky ignored this. “Today we make the world a happier place!”

“Harrumph!” the heckler repeated. He followed it up with worst swear word he could think of:

“Stinkypooperpot!”

“Gerald!” Corky barked. “Watch your language!”

“Why do we have to wear this?” Gerald grouched.

“You’re not wearing anything.”

“I know! Why do cupids need to be naked? Why must we show the world our creased caboodles? Why do we let everyone peep at our dingle wingle do-dahs?”

“Because it’s the rule,” Corky stammered.

“Why can’t we wear suits?”

“Because we can’t!”

The other cupids peered down at their own naked pudginess.

“Why can’t we?” one asked.

“A suit would be flattering!”

“And flashy!”

“No!” Corky boomed. “The rule is…”

He trailed off, for Corky’s mind flashed to an almost forgotten time many years ago…

“The rule is…” he tried again.

…when a pair of young lovers giggled at his blorpy bottom.

“The rule is…”

The memory turned him red all over.

“The rule is…” Corky announced, “STUPID!”

The cupids cheered.

That year The Suited Cupids spread the love and took the fashion world by storm.

102 thoughts on “Love Is In The Air

  1. You should win just because of “creased caboodles” and “dingle-wingle do-dahs.” One of the most original and hilarious Valentine stories I’ve ever read! I was telling Susanne that my story comes in at 382 words, and I’m in love with it. So I don’t think I’ll have an entry unless I come up with something else….tic, tic, tic…..

    • the name Corky is a bit of a running joke between me and my boy. Whenever I can insert that name into a story, I will.

      On another note: Why, oh, why don’t you ever enter these contests? Even if you don’t normally write for kids, this flash fiction stuff is right up your alley. Write something for your grandkids! C’mon. Be a sport.

      • Working on it, if I can make the deadline, my friend. But Corky keeps clouding my creative muse!!!!! I’m on vacation, and will use a creature from this place if I can get Corky and his pink clothes outta my head…. 🙂

  2. Oh Mike, when I saw the doodle I realised how much I missed you, and when I read the story, I realised what a skill it is to be so reliable a laugh crafter. You get me everytime my friend – no matter how serious I’m being. Good luck, and I’ll remember to drop by again more often…hope there’s more love than arrows coming your way so far this year….Hugs, Harula xxx

      • No, no, no. The word is original you. Only YOU would devise a good word like stinkypooperpot in place of a swear word. Because it is so good, if , IF, I saw it in a comment somewhere, I would know it could only be you who made up the word–

        And why am I groveling?

        You must know what I meant. So why am I trying to explain? You have some wicked control over your readers, Mike. How do you do it. Is it mixed into your comedy? Something in the letters you use makes us both laugh and, and–what do you call this control?

        You have no idea how good you are. Ugh! Why did I write that?

  3. Reblogged this on Myths of the Mirror and commented:
    Children’s author Mike Allegra cracks me up. I’ve never been much into the Valentine’s Day hoopla. Well, that changed with Mike’s take on those chubby little cupids that flit around shooting love arrows. Yet two days away, this will put a grin on your face and some Valentine’s fun in your heart. Enjoy.

  4. Pingback: Rather Take a Hike! | roughwighting

  5. Hahaha! Creased caboodles! Blorpy bottom! 🙂 And what a very important question your story addresses: why SHOULD Cupid’s be naked? Really, does anyone want to see that? 🙂 Especially when they could be decked out in such fashion as depicted in your dashing illustration?! Thanks so much for a hilarious entry, Mike! 🙂

  6. This is adorable, Mike. I hope you win the contest and I hope a book is in the works with this story! Kids would LOVE this! I don’t think there are a lot of books in the Valentine’s Day humor genre for children… or books with dapper cupids in them, really… certainly not books with cupid language in them – which might be a first! Good luck, but I don’t think you will need it! 🙂

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