I am now an official guest blogger. Do feel free to stop by Khaula Mazhar’s place and check out my post: Criticizing Critiques: A Critical Study. Maybe she’ll serve cake.
Hope to see you all there!
I’m a Guest
Second Helpings
The other day, I called my publisher’s customer service line to request extra copies of Sarah Gives Thanks. I’m planning to visit a few libraries in November and I wanted to sell books after the readings.
The woman I spoke to was named Kiki and, upon hearing her name, I became very happy. Prior to this conversation, the only Kiki I had ever heard of was a character on the show The Fresh Beat Band. Fresh Beat Kiki dresses in pink and plays the guitar. Her catchphrase is “Kickin’!”
I am not a fan of The Fresh Beat Band, but I have earned many Karma points by watching the show with my son. And now, as I chatted on the phone to the other Kiki, I was enjoying the glow of recognition. “I have now met an actual Kiki,” I thought. “Kiki is a real name.”
Personal amusement aside, I still had work to do. So I told Kiki I would need about 50 books.
“Oh, well,” Kiki began. “I have good news and bad news.”
“I’ll take the bad news first, Kiki,” I said. Even when faced with bad news, I couldn’t stop saying Kiki. Try it. Kiki.
“The bad news is we only have 16 copies in the warehouse,” Kiki said.
“Oh, I don’t need them now. When will you restock?”
“Probably December.”
Considering that Sarah Gives Thanks is a Thanksgiving book, and that Thanksgiving is a November holiday, this did strike me as curious. Just as I was about to bring this tidbit to her attention, Kiki continued.
“You see,” she said, “the book is going into its second printing.”
“Wait, what?” I asked.
“Sarah Gives Thanks is in its second printing.” Kiki said. “That’s the good news.”
“Kickin’!” I said.
Kiki didn’t know how to respond to that.
Sarah Gives Thanks is still available, mind you. It can be ordered online or through bookstores. The distributors have plenty on hand. You can easily get copy if you want one.
But the publisher is sold out! And the publisher is gonna print more!
I attribute this good news to you guys. Since I came onto the blogging scene late last year, I’ve made many wonderful online pals. I have also been interviewed by six very supportive and generous people:
Susan Rocan
Roxie Hanna
Max Opray
Julie Hedlund
Lauri Meyers
And David Gardner (Sarah’s amazing illustrator)
All of these folks, by the way, have excellent blogs. Do check them out.
Another person of note is the great Stacy Jensen, who selected Sarah for her Perfect Picture Book Friday, and, ever since, has been all over the internet singing the book’s praises. Stacy also has an incredible blog; you should check hers out, too.
To the folks above, and to all of you who bought a book, I just want to say how very, very grateful I am.
Kiki’s news (and name) may have made my day, but you guys have made my year.
Boycott Celebrity Children’s Books!
The Crow, Steve Martin’s 2009 banjo album, includes a track titled “Late for School” – a song I didn’t very much care for. The song, though energetic, was sloppy, with an inconsistent meter and some pretty labored rhymes.
Oh, and there was a second reason why I didn’t like “Late for School:”
“If Martin doesn’t turn that song into a bad children’s book,” I told my wife, “I’ll eat my hat.”
Well, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is my diet is 100% polyester-free. The bad news is…well, you know.
I haven’t been this disappointed in Steve Martin since he starred in Bringing Down the House.
Martin, of course, isn’t alone. He is far from alone. The picture book market is lousy with celebrity titles. Tiki Barber, Joy Behar, Katie Couric, Billy Crystal, Bob Dylan, George Foreman, Jeff Foxworthy, Whoopi Goldberg, Jay Leno, Jerry Seinfeld, Brooke Shields, and John Travolta are now “Men and Women of Letters.”
And the list goes on and on.
And on.
And on.
Yogi Berra’s on the list. Yep, the genial Yankees catcher, whose claim to fame is being kinda incoherent, wants to educate your children.
And, of course, there’s Madonna. When she was on TV plugging her first children’s book, she told the interviewer she wrote it because “I couldn’t believe how vapid and vacant and empty all the stories were.”
That interview was maybe 10 years ago, and I still remember that line. Oh, and I shall take that line to my grave.
This disturbing trend affects us all. When a celebrity children’s book is published, it doesn’t only make an angel cry, it robs the world of a spot on a publisher’s release list. That spot could’ve been given to a hard-working unknown who has dedicated his or her life to the craft of writing. But noooo…Neil Sedaka had to cut the line.
Well, it is time someone said “enough!”
I am that someone!
And I am looking for other someones to say “enough” also!
Consider this blog post a call to arms!
Join The Boycott Celebrity Children’s Book Association (BCCBA)!
You don’t have to be a writer to be a member, just a concerned someone who wishes to promote and encourage good writing by writers.
Joining couldn’t be simpler! To be a full-fledged, card-carrying member of BCCBA (cards not included) you only need to follow three rules:
- Boycott children’s books written by film, TV, pop, or reality show stars; politicians; newscasters; or sports figures.
- Respectfully discourage non-members from buying children’s books written by film, TV, pop, or reality show stars; politicians; newscasters; or sports figures.
- Come up with ways to respectfully encourage celebrities to submit their children’s book manuscripts under pseudonyms – so the stories may be judged on their literary merits alone.
I know, I know. Some of you are thinking, “But Jamie Lee Curtis is different! She can really write!” And you’re right, she can.
But for boycotts to succeed, sometimes the innocent must temporarily suffer. Fear not, friends; Curtis will be fine. Her books will almost certainly be accepted on the basis of the meritocracy model I propose. In the meantime, she can generate extra cash by making some more of those commercials for the yogurt that helps you poop.
So who’s with me?
Write a comment and show your support for the cause! All suggestions are welcome!
Join the Association and spread the word!
Only together can we make a difference!
Hey, Look! A Writer Fellow! 