On Blogging, On Writing

Goldilockup

The lovely and talented Susanna Leonard Hill is hosting another writing contest and, well, I always like a good contest.

The theme of this one is a Fractured Fairy Tale in 400 words or less.

Enjoy!

Crime doesn't pay.
Crime doesn’t pay.

GOLDIELOCKUP

“Someone has been sleeping in my bed!” exclaimed Papa Bear.

“Someone has been sleeping in my bed!” exclaimed Mama Bear.

“Someone has been sleeping in my bed!” exclaimed Baby Bear. “And there she is!”

At that, Goldilocks awoke with a shriek, jumped out the window, and ran away as fast as she could.

But it wasn’t fast enough. Before she could disappear into the forest, a large hand clamped down on her shoulder and slapped on the cuffs.

The man was in uniform. He scowled at Goldilocks and spoke into his crackling walkie talkie. “I got her,” he growled. “I’ll be downtown in ten.”

Then he turned to Golidlocks. “You’re coming with me, blondie.”

“What? Why?”

“Breaking and entering, grand theft porridge, vandalism, squatting… You’re a regular crime wave, kid.”

And into the squad car she went.

“You punks are all alike,” the officer said once they arrived at the station. “You always think you’re the hero.”

He pointed to a boy getting his mug shot. “See that kid? He thinks he’s a hero, too. But he’s been charged with murder, burglary, and chopping down a giant beanstalk without a forestry permit. He ain’t no hero, girlie, and neither are you.”

Goldilocks was shoved into a holding cell. She was terrified by the lowlifes who surrounded her. There was a woodsman who practiced stomach surgery without a license. Pigs who attempted to boil their dinners alive. Prince charmings found carrying unregistered swords and daggers. Billy goats accused of assault and battery.

It was a motley crew.

“What’s going to happen now?” Goldilocks asked the officer.

“Well, first we gotta catch up with Cinderella and Snow White,” he replied.

“What are they wanted for?” she asked.

“Oh,” the man replied, “we’ll come up with something.”

At that moment, another officer shouted in triumph. “We got ‘em!”

A joyous “Whoop!” went up throughout the precinct as Snow White and Cinderella were booked, photographed, fingerprinted, and tossed in the cell with the others.

“A good day’s work, gentlemen!” said the police captain emerging from his office. He wasn’t exactly a police captain, though.

He was a Big Bad Wolf.

The officers then pulled off their masks.

Giants!

Ogres!

Stepmothers!

Goldilocks and the other prisoners shuddered at the sight.

It was official: Fairy Tale Forest was under new management.