Celebrate Cats! Ugh.

And it has come to this.
And it has come to this.

As regular readers of this blog know, I am not a fan of cats.

I am horribly allergic.

I am also a protector of the cute, fuzzy, little animals that cats enjoy killing. Like this angel:

Her names is Lucy and I looooove her.
Her names is Lucy and I looooove her.

So cats are not welcome anywhere near the Allegra house.

Many of you devoted cat owners out there have chosen to look past my anti-feline stance. You are wonderful, forgiving people who accept me for who I am. I thank you.

But one of you, using a form of extortion that would make Tony Soprano flinch, forced me draw a picture of one.

Just kidding. Jilanne Hoffmann is actually a wonderful person. A few months ago, she and I made a deal. Jilanne would use her son to promote my organization, Humans Against Celebrity Kid Stories (H.A.C.K.S.), and I, in turn, would draw a commemorative postage stamp on the subject of his choice.

I used to draw these stamps all the time for my own son. Here’s a small sampling from Alex’s collection:

Celebrate Showers

Bed!

Celebrate sand

I also made Alex a couple of gross ones.

Snot!

Toots

Jilanne held up her end of the bargain, so I owed her son a stamp. Since her boy is nine, I assumed I would be drawing a sequel to Snot or Toots. So you can imagine my surprise when he asked for “Celebrate Cats.”

I tried to convince him otherwise. I truly did. Rats are cuter, I told him. Much cuter. But he was unpersuaded.

So here’s your cat, kid. You’ll get the original drawing in the mail in a few days. And don’t ask me for anything else until you learn how to properly appreciate rodents. I have a Celebrate Guinea Pigs stamp in me just aching to get out.

***

What’s that? You wanna be cool like Jilanne and join the H.A.C.K.S. team? Click HERE to learn about the organization and click HERE to become a member!

Sunday Sketches #4

To those who are unfamiliar with the origin of my series of “Celebrate” stamps, you may want to read this first.

When I began this stamp business for my son, I had no idea just how much effort it would require. Stamps either had to be drawn early in the morning (while I was half asleep eating breakfast) or late at night (when I was half asleep and ready to go to bed). I don’t draw very well when I’m half asleep and, since I worked in ballpoint pen, I would often need to throw away several envelopes before I could manage something that looked halfway decent.

Another thing I discovered about being half asleep: good judgment sometimes fails to show itself. So a few of the stamps I worked on exhibit a noticeable lapse in good taste.

Often these stamps were inspired by current events. Surprise, surprise, on the day I drew this, my boy had a cold.

My sleepy, hard work on tasteless subject matter often paid off, though. Case in point: I discarded three envelopes before I finally got the right amount of explosive, flatulent pressure needed for “Celebrate Toots.” To this day, my son considers it to be my masterpiece.

If you prefer, my sister calls them "hiney squeaks." My sister is insane.