Book News, On Blogging

Oh, Right! A Holiday!

It’s Thanksgiving time! As most of your know, I have written a book about Thanksgiving. As a result, I’ve been busy doing my Author Visit Dog and Pony Show. This has made me less available on this blog and elsewhere.

Sorry about that. Once I finish sleeping off the effects of the dark meat, I promise my behavior will change.

This guy's goin' down.
This guy’s goin’ down.

Upon my return, I will tell Christmas stories! I will revisit the phenomenon that is H.A.C.K.S! And I will desperately attempt to fulfill my very last New Year’s Resolution!

In the meantime, allow me to get into the spirit of the holiday by telling you all how thankful I am for having so many funny, thoughtful, and supportive blog pals. You make doing this great fun.

Enjoy your holiday!

And nothing makes a holiday more enjoyable than getting an author some residuals!
And nothing makes a holiday more enjoyable than giving a deserving  author some residuals! Just sayin’.
Doodles 'n' Drawings, H.A.C.K.S.

Celebrate Kittens! (Oh, you gotta be kidding me!)

And it has come to this.
Ugh.

As many longtime readers of this blog know, I am not a big fan of cats. I’m allergic, I keep rodents as pets, and feral cats keep pooping on my lawn.

So why did I ever draw the above doodle? Extortion.

Last year, Jilianne Hoffmann demanded it as a quid pro quo for promoting my noble organization, H.A.C.K.S. (Humans Against Celebrity Kid Stories)* on her blog. I, with great reluctance, complied.

After I drew the doodle and sent it to the Hoffmanns, however, something strange happened. Jilanne’s son, Liam (the fellow who wanted that cat pic), and I developed a correspondence. In so doing, I slowly learned that he and the entire Hoffmann family – despite their cat fancier instincts – are lovely people.

This knowledge has helped me to grow significantly as a person. And I am grateful.

As a sign of this newfound friendship, I offered to draw the Hoffmann’s another doodle.

Jilanne replied: “Oh, you are too kind! Liam is very excited. When I asked him if he had a request, he immediately grinned and said, ‘a very naughty kitten to go with the naughty stamp-shredding cat.'”

Are you people trying to get back on my Enemies List?

Fine! Here! And no more!

Innocent Kitten

*By the way, you should join H.A.C.K.S.

It’s free and fun! No salesmen will call!

To learn all about it, click here! To join the cause, click here!

H.A.C.K.S., On Writing

Introducing the H.A.C.K.S. Seal of Approval

H.A.C.K.S. approves.
H.A.C.K.S. approves.

Are you a member of H.A.C.K.S. yet? No?

Do you at least know what H.A.C.K.S. stands for? No?

Sheesh. I need some PR people.

H.A.C.K.S. stands for Humans Against Celebrity Kid Stories. I founded the organization last year as a way to ever-so-gently dissuade people from buying picture books written by celebrities.

The reason? Simple. Because most of these celebrity-written children’s books are – and this is backed up by years of careful study – stinky.

Want to learn more about H.A.C.K.S.? Wonderful! Click here for info.

Are you one of those devil-may-care types who join organizations without knowing anything about them? Wonderful! Click here and “like” the page.

Now let’s get to the subject of this post. Although it has been proven that most celebrity children’s books are stinky, some are not. Case in point: Charming actress and fiber-filled-yogurt pitchwoman Jamie Lee Curtis has written several excellent picture books.

You can get regular be eating yogurt? Who knew? SHE did.
You can get regular by eating yogurt? Who knew?
SHE did.

Yes, Ms. Curtis is a celebrity but she is also a writer. She deserves, I think, immunity from any H.A.C.K.S. initiatives.

So I propose The H.A.C.K.S. Seal of Approval, an honor to be presented to a celebrity whose book (or books) can proudly stand alongside books that were written by people who do this writing thing for a living.

With the H.A.C.K.S. membership’s permission, I would like to nominate Ms. Curtis as our very first Seal of Approval recipient. All in favor?

Please also consider this post to be a solicitation for future H.A.C.K.S. Seal of Approval nominees. Have a suggestion? Have you read a celebrity children’s book that impressed you? Moved you? Made you laugh?

If so, fellow H.A.C.K.S.ters, leave a comment! Together let us encourage great writing!