My family and I spend many joyous evenings conjuring up inappropriate picture book titles. Continue reading “God Knows You Farted”
As regular readers of this blog know, I am not a fan of cats.
I am horribly allergic.
I am also a protector of the cute, fuzzy, little animals that cats enjoy killing. Like this angel:
So cats are not welcome anywhere near the Allegra house.
Many of you devoted cat owners out there have chosen to look past my anti-feline stance. You are wonderful, forgiving people who accept me for who I am. I thank you.
But one of you, using a form of extortion that would make Tony Soprano flinch, forced me draw a picture of one.
Just kidding. Jilanne Hoffmann is actually a wonderful person. A few months ago, she and I made a deal. Jilanne would use her son to promote my organization, Humans Against Celebrity Kid Stories (H.A.C.K.S.), and I, in turn, would draw a commemorative postage stamp on the subject of his choice.
I used to draw these stamps all the time for my own son. Here’s a small sampling from Alex’s collection:
I also made Alex a couple of gross ones.
Jilanne held up her end of the bargain, so I owed her son a stamp. Since her boy is nine, I assumed I would be drawing a sequel to Snot or Toots. So you can imagine my surprise when he asked for “Celebrate Cats.”
I tried to convince him otherwise. I truly did. Rats are cuter, I told him. Much cuter. But he was unpersuaded.
So here’s your cat, kid. You’ll get the original drawing in the mail in a few days. And don’t ask me for anything else until you learn how to properly appreciate rodents. I have a Celebrate Guinea Pigs stamp in me just aching to get out.