God Knows You Farted

My family and I spend many joyous evenings conjuring up inappropriate picture book titles. Sometimes we don’t even know we’re coming up with titles; we’ll just be chatting away, someone will say something weird, and I’ll follow it up with: “Hey, that’s the title of my next picture book!”

Then we all giggle like idiots.

God Knows you Farted is probably my favorite of the lot, but I also have a soft spot for The Sluttiest Mennonite, Curious George at the Gun Show, and The Moistness.

(The Moistness has a wonderful “ew” factor, doesn’t it? Possible sequel: The Crustiness.)

Considering how creative my blog readers are (Man, do I love you people!), I thought I’d ask for your input. What awful PB titles can you come up with? Write me a comment! Be creative! Tackle the most unlikely PB subjects! (Just remember, folks, this blog is rated PG.)

51 Replies to “God Knows You Farted”

  1. “The Legend of the Lost Sock,” “Brothers are Friends, Not Punching Bags,” and “What’s Under There?”
    These are our family’s actual phrases that may get into publishing…

      1. All I can say is any house which is inhabited by unmarried males who are interested in only partying is not a house where I want to use the bathroom.

  2. “Grandpa Can’t Eat that Anymore”
    “No one Wants to Date a Dirtbag (and other reasons why adult children should clean their room)”
    “Where’s the Other Half of the Cockroach?”
    “Recovery: Life Without My Uvula”

    All stated in our house at one point in time.

  3. “But I Don’t Want to Take My Pill!” (overheard on an airplane before takeoff, followed by quiet laughter elsewhere)

    1. That’s a funny thing to overhear, BUT… I could *totally* write a legit PB manuscript with the title. It could be a story about a child who was born with a chronic illness who wishes he could be a “normal” kid.

      1. Or… It could be about a teenager who decided his closet was big enough to put his bed in and slept in there which totally frustrated his father. Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.

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