The last time I wrote, I announced I was taking a summer vacation from the blog.
It is now February.
I blame the delay on global warming.
Oh, that’s not true. I blame myself.
My schedule has been considerably busier than usual. And during the rare moments when I found time to write a post, I decided against doing so because I knew I was still too busy to write regular posts. I didn’t want to be one of those bloggers who posts once every few months to acknowledge he’s still breathing. Instead, I opted to be a blogger who doesn’t blog at all.
But that has changed. I am back to posting weekly. I am a new man.
So, how’ve you been? Ellen and Alex are fine, thanks for asking.
My pet shrimp, Fosse, is still alive. His behavior, however, has become a little disturbing. For one thing, he has taken to nibbling the legs off of his starfish roommates whenever I’m late with his dinner. He also nibbles the legs off of his starfish roommates whenever I am on time with his dinner. Or whenever I’m early with his dinner. Frankly, he doesn’t care when dinner arrives; Fosse’s eating starfish legs.
Fosse’s dinner, by the way, is ground up frozen shrimp. They aren’t the same breed of shrimp, but I think that technically makes him a cannibal.
Last fall, Fosse laid eggs; a few weeks later, they hatched—even though Fosse is the only shrimp in the tank. (So either Fosse impregnated him/herself or he/she sneaks out of his tank each evening looking for a little hot, shrimpy action.) When the eggs hatched, Fosse ate all of his children. That definitely makes him a cannibal.
Long story short, it may be time for Fosse to get some counseling.
My life has changed almost as much as Fosse’s diet. For one thing, after a particularly active freelance writing-filled autumn, I was offered a job at New Jersey City University—a school I previously never knew existed. My job, in part, is to inform people that New Jersey City University exists.
So now you know. Tell your friends!
But the cool news is this tidbit in Publisher’s Marketplace:
Children’s: Picture Book
Mike Allegra’s EVERYBODY’S FAVORITE BOOK, pitched as The Monster at the End of This Book meets Wreck-It Ralph when a cheeky narrator introduces an assortment of genre characters, each one more determined than the last to hijack the story, illustrated by Claire Almon, to Rhoda Belleza at Imprint, for publication in fall 2018, by Natalie Lakosil at Bradford Literary Agency for the author.
Imprint is an imprint of Macmillan. Natalie and Rhoda are national treasures, and the rough illustrations from Claire Almon never fail to make me fall into fits of wheezy giggles. Trust me on this: this is gonna be a good book.
I have also been doing some additional work for Imprint that I can’t yet talk about. I can say, however, that this Imprint project has consumed my every waking moment when I am not with my family, proving NJCU’s existence, or reacting to Fosse’s crimes against humanity.
Long story short, I’m really sorry. Please get back into the habit of visiting me again!
I promise new amusing anecdotes, a new masthead photo (eventually), a screed against Arbordale Publishing (They know what they did!), a revival of my long-dormant H.A.C.K.S. organization (Remember that?), the inauguration of a new writing award, and whatever other things I can readily pull out of my keister. It’ll be fun!
In the meantime, please take advantage of the comments section to answer the following question in any way you see fit:
What happens next?
See you next week!