Yep. I know. I have been slow in responding to your blog comments. I have been absent from other people’s blogs. I stink.
I do have an excuse, though. This is my silly season. Not a day has gone by where I haven’t appeared somewhere to talk about Sarah Gives Thanks. It has been fun – really fun in most cases – but exhausting, too, and I’ve found myself with little time for much else.
But I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
When Thursday arrives, I will give thanks – and this year I have A LOT to be thankful for (i.e.: my tolerant family, my fast-selling book, my new blog friendships).
Then I will eat myself silly, go sleepy, and awake maybe 14 hours later – fully refreshed.
Then I will burrow into my WordPress Reader, catch up on your blogs, and return to writing about writing. Yes, I’ll miss the book tour, but it will be replaced with something that I find to be every bit as personally rewarding.
It is a joyous occasion! Grab the Lipps, Inc. LP; let’s hear some Funkytown!
Despite Hurricane Sandy and, I assume, Madonna’s henchmen, the Boycott Celebrity Children’s Books Acronym Contest could not be stopped! Hooray for us! Hooray for society!
The view from my driveway. Nice try, nature.
As I mentioned in past posts (this one and this one), I began a crusade to boycott awful picture books by celebrities. I have been delighted by your support. Apparently many of you, too, believe that Madonna And Company have done little more than kill trees and atrophy young minds.
What this cause needed, however, was a catchy acronym because, well, BCCBA sounds like an SAT cheat sheet. I needed your help and you fine folks came through. Below is just a sampling of acronyms designed to turn this little pet project into a national movement:
SCRIBE: Stopping Celebrities Regarding the Inking of Bad Editions
BABBLE: Buying Actors’ Books Begets Less Education
WRITERS: Wielding Righteous Indignation about Talentless Egos—Really, Stop
AUTHORS: Authentic Undermined Talented Hopefuls Over Rapacious Stars
CHUPACABARAS: Conceited Hogs Using Professional Avaricious Clout And Brash Artistic Rights Are Swine
ACT WISE: Avoid Celebrity Trash Writers; Inspire and Support Excellence
ACT NOWW: Avoid Celebrity Trash Nurture Only Writers Writing
And this is just some of them. Man, do I love you guys.
But how to choose? For a decision this important, I wanted to bring in four qualified judges:
Steve Patchett is the Director of Communications at Morristown-Beard School, responsible for all of the school’s marketing and public relations. Years ago I held this exact same job. After the school administrators came to their senses and fired me, they hired Steve. This was a wise move. The guy is very, very good at his job. He is also a pal.
Jacqueline Haun is a librarian and archivist at The Lawrenceville School and a supurb writer. I should know; she is a regular contributor to The Lawrentian, the magazine I edit. She was an editorial assistant and arts reviewer for a daily newspaper. She also has an unhealthy obsession with the show True Blood.
Lisa Gillard is the Director of Public Relations at The Lawrenceville School. When the fit hits the shan, she knows how to make all the badness go away. She can also get “rah rah” stories in The New York Times if you ask her nicely.
Ellen is my wife. A former high school English teacher, she now runs a very successful SAT business. She also ruthlessly critiques my stories. She is my sweetie.
None of these judges were allowed to see who authored what. None of them were influenced by me in any way.
The results are in. Here is the moment of truth.
In a split decision, with two out of four votes, the winner is…
HACKS
And – oh, you gotta be kidding me – that means Madame Weebles has won both of the contests I’ve held on this blog. So Weebles is the HACKS co-president and wins a signed copy of my book, Sarah Gives Thanks!
But here’s the thing: Since Weebles already HAS a signed copy of my book, she has decided to give the book away to another acronym author of her choosing. How cool is that?
Her choice? AUTHORS.
So Khaula Mazhar wins the book! You know how to reach me, Khaula; send me your mailing address and I’ll send you a book.
And for those of you keeping score, Lauri Meyer’s FAWT and harulawordsthatserve’s ACT WISE each received a single vote. Because of this, I would like to offer both Lauri and Harula the Executive Vice Presidency of the newly-named HACKS.
If FAWT won, I would’ve used this old stamp as the model for the Association’s logo. Perhaps FAWT’s loss is not such a bad thing.
All of you who entered the contest (especially Vanessa, who inspired this contest and whose CRAP acronym still makes me giggle like a schoolgirl), may now have roles on the HACKS Executive Committee. Please indicate your willingness to be on the committee in the comments below.
And, hey, ANYONE can join the club! Wanna join? Write me a comment and tell me! Only together can we make a difference!
Back in the early days of this blog, I wrote a number of posts that nobody ever saw. “Sixty-one views?” I’d say, aghast. “For the whole month?”
So, with your permission, I thought I’d pull an old post out of the pile and reintroduce it to a (hopefully) larger audience.
Feel free, as always, to comment with reckless abandon! I do so love your comments.
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One of the ways I hoped to get my (then-three-year-old) son interested in reading was to leave him little notes at the breakfast table. After all, what could be more fun than getting a loving note every morning from your dear ol’ Dad?
But, since I am incapable of doing anything in a small way, I took my note idea to the next level. It’s always fun to get mail, so I sealed each note in an envelope; printed my son’s name and address on the front; and, for that extra dose of authenticity, drew on a stamp. (“Celebrate Cows,” was the first subject.) “There!” I thought. “That will get my boy interested in reading!”
Instead, it got my boy interested in stamp collecting. From the second note on, he carefully ripped the stamp off the envelope and stored it in a shoebox. The notes were glanced at briefly, handed to Mom to read aloud, and then discarded without a second thought. So while I’m pleased to report that my son – who is now six – reads with enthusiasm, my grand note experiment had absolutely nothing to do with it.
Hey, Look! A Writer Fellow! 