Longtime readers of this blog know that I hate Halloween.
Longtime readers of this blog also know that I love writing contests.
I especially love Susanna Leonard Hill’s writing contests.
So every year I put aside my Halloween hate and enter Susanna’s Halloweenise contest.
Here are the rules: Entrants have to write a Halloween-themed story no longer than 100 words. (In Halloween parlance that means the story is “Fun Size.”) This story also must contain the words “candy corn,” “monster,” and “shadow.”
Here’s my submission! Enjoy!
***
Candy Scorn
“You’re the sorcerer?” Eric gulped.
“I am.” His face was in shadow, but his eyes glowed like coals.
“You make fun-sized candy huge?”
“I make fun-sized candy truly fun.”
With trembling hands, Eric held out his trick or treat bag. “Could you…?”
The man plucked a candy corn from Eric’s stash. He fluttered his fingers and – POOF! – the treat was the size of a monster truck.
“Fun sized!” The sorcerer boomed. “And it’ll be really fun to watch you drag that thing home! Good luck, sucker!”
And the sorcerer skipped off into the night, giggling like a schoolgirl.
Hey, Look! A Writer Fellow! 
Love me the Halloweensie, too!
As you should! Have you entered yet?
I say that kid got his just desserts👻
Yes, this story is a parable of greed and a sharp criticism of America’s toxic consumer culture.
Just kidding, I really only wanted to come up with a story that allowed me to include a sorcerer giggling like a schoolgirl.
The fantasy world would be a much happier place if more socerers
as I was saying “…if more sorcerers giggled.”
Yeah. Sorcerers aren’t
…known for being giggly.
Hahaha 🙂
Heeheehee!
Clever, fun and in keeping with your Halloween pledge.
If there isn’t a shred of Halloween cynicism in my story then, really, what’s the point?
I need to find this sorcerer. Great story. Good luck!
When you find him, just remember to bring a forklift.
Love how you got an entire story out of “fun size.” What an oxymoron. Super idea. Good luck and may Halloween pass you by!
Who ever came up with the term of “fun size” should be strung up by his thumbs.
I think my eldest could still do some damage to a candy corn that size. Why he likes those perma-stale bits of sugar so much is beyond me, but they are his favorites.
There are about a jillion sweets I’d prefer over candy corn — which, in my view, does a disservice to both candy and corn.
Excellent Halloween story, Mike. I enjoyed the silliness. And I can see that Alex is becoming a ham for the camera – he’s inherited his father’s sense of humor, it seems. Happy Halloween!
That boy o’ mine is becoming this blog’s biggest asset.
I know you’re not a children’s book writer, but you’re one of the bestest writers I know. You should give this competition a whirl.
Aw. So nice of you to say that, Mike. I’ve been doing the Carrot Ranch challenges this Oct – all 8 of them!! Maybe next year, though! I like a challenge. 🙂
So…I’m not seeing the problem. Well, depending on which candy he poof-ed. 🙂
Candy corn, which in my view, is the lamest candy to POOF.
Yeah, that would be. Now, if it were a peanut butter cup…
Now yer talkin’ my language, Russell.
“Giggling like a schoolgirl” made me snicker. “Fun size” would definitely be the “giant size” ones for me.
I recently discovered the existence of a five-pound gummi bear. Now THAT is fun-sized.
I snapped pictures of all the outsize candies around Christmas last year: 10 pound Hershey’s, a 3 pound gummy worm, and a giant Ferrero Roucher (that turned out, misleadingly, to be a round container full of regular ones).
Your monster truck candy corn would be a good addition to that aisle.
I haven’t seen a Hershey bar bigger than two pounds. Clearly I don’t know where to shop.
Cruel. You are too, too cruel. I’m not sure you set aside your hatred of Halloween to write this one. I hope your son makes you dress up like a fun-size treat and then drags you out for trick or treating.
If I ever dress up for Halloween, it will be as a Grand Union cashier.
LOL-funny and visual. I can see some wheels going on and a trip down a steep hill!
A candy corn car would be a heckuva addition to the rewrite.
So cute! You’ve got to watch what you ask for. Good luck, Mike.
Thanks, Jill!
Ha. Cute story.
T’anks!
Sneaky sorcerer!!! (Now, if it had been that peanut butter cup he’d made huge, that would be a worthy use of sorcery. And delicious.)
My wife would’ve eaten the peanut butter cup before a sorcerer would’ve had the opportunity to enlarge it.
Very funny, very readable. Great work.
Thank you, good sir!
Awesome. 🙂
Right back at’cha.
A monster truck sized Snickers bar would be truly worthy of a poof!
Candy corn is only good when mixed with peanuts. Then when it’s all mixed up in your mouth together it tastes like caramel.
Then why not just eat caramel? See? Candy corns are USELESS!
You’ve got me there!
Giant candy corn – this is the stuff of nightmares
And you should know; Candy is your NAME!
What a great story! I hate candy corn too! And love the school girl line! 😀
I pretty much wrote the story in order to include “giggling like a schoolgirl.”
Oh MY!
You OK, there, Maria?
Every kid’s dream…to have a piece of candy so big, it would take a truck to get it home. So much fun, Mike!
Yes, but it would be a very weird kid who would want the truck-sized candy to be a candy corn.
I just said the same on someone else’s entry but it’s worth repeating: I’ve never had candy corn! But I’m guessing from this story (and the comments) that monster truck-sized candy corn would not be a good thing. Good luck with the contest 🙂
You haven’t eaten a candy corn? Well, Christine, you’re not missing a thing.
wow i love it
You are too kind, good sir.
I love it!
Who are you kidding? You just like the photo!
I couldn’t imagine anything worse than eating candy corn, except perhaps eating super sized candy corn! Great story, love your sorcerer.
I can think of plenty of things worse than eating candy corn. Eating Brussells sprouts, for example.
Love this- check out my Halloween post if you get a chance ! http://shit-stevie-says.com/
Will do, Stevie.
What the ………………………..WHAT???? It’s unAMuricun to hate Halloween!!
No, it is unAmerican to hate Thanksgiving. And it is *especially* unAmerican to celebrate Thanksgiving without picking up a copy of SARAH GIVES THANKS. Get it wherever fine books are sold.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahhahahahahah!!!
My Italian son calls me his ‘Muricon Mom.
sweet story, in a corny sugary kind of way!
good luck 🙂
Thanks, Willow.
This fun-sized story had me giggling like a school-girl. Great voice!
If I can get you to schoolgirl giggle, then my job is done here.
That’s what greed will get you. Funny story Mike! Good luck.
Thanks, Traci!
A perfect Allegra candy-sized treat (the sorcerer-sized kind, of course!)
Be careful what you wish for! Good story, Mike.
I felt so present in that gulp, facing a shadowy, powerful figure. Too bad he was a real jerk!!
P.S. Fun sized candy bars have zero calories. I read it on the internet. It’s true.
Love the idea of a candy corn as big as a monster truck…for a boy who was being greedy! Because honestly, who wants a giant candy corn? We all know chocolate is WAY better!!! 🙂 And love your skipping, giggling sorceror 🙂 As for “fun-sized”? SO subjective! In my opinion, “fun-sized” should be DOUBLE the size of a normal chocolate bar, not HALF! Thanks so much for joining in the Halloweensie fun, even though you hate Halloween! 🙂
It’s always a pleasure to give your contests a try. (Even if my Halloween entries usually stink!)
Oh YUCK! I hate candy corn! I can only imagine!! No.. I can’t imagine! And I really tried!!
I concur. Candy corn is nasty, nasty stuff.