Oh, Right. Halloween Is Here.

Fun-sized my butt!

Longtime readers of this blog know that I hate Halloween.

Longtime readers of this blog also know that I love writing contests.

I especially love Susanna Leonard Hill’s writing contests.

So every year I put aside my Halloween hate and enter Susanna’s Halloweenise contest.

Here are the rules: Entrants have to write a Halloween-themed story no longer than 100 words. (In Halloween parlance that means the story is “Fun Size.”) This story also must contain the words “candy corn,” “monster,” and “shadow.”

Here’s my submission! Enjoy!


Candy Scorn

“You’re the sorcerer?” Eric gulped.

“I am.” His face was in shadow, but his eyes glowed like coals.

“You make fun-sized candy huge?”

“I make fun-sized candy truly fun.”

With trembling hands, Eric held out his trick or treat bag. “Could you…?”

The man plucked a candy corn from Eric’s stash. He fluttered his fingers and – POOF! – the treat was the size of a monster truck.

“Fun sized!” The sorcerer boomed. “And it’ll be really fun to watch you drag that thing home! Good luck, sucker!”

And the sorcerer skipped off into the night, giggling like a schoolgirl.

82 Replies to “Oh, Right. Halloween Is Here.”

    1. Yes, this story is a parable of greed and a sharp criticism of America’s toxic consumer culture.

      Just kidding, I really only wanted to come up with a story that allowed me to include a sorcerer giggling like a schoolgirl.

  1. Love how you got an entire story out of “fun size.” What an oxymoron. Super idea. Good luck and may Halloween pass you by!

  2. I think my eldest could still do some damage to a candy corn that size. Why he likes those perma-stale bits of sugar so much is beyond me, but they are his favorites.

  3. Excellent Halloween story, Mike. I enjoyed the silliness. And I can see that Alex is becoming a ham for the camera – he’s inherited his father’s sense of humor, it seems. Happy Halloween!

      1. Aw. So nice of you to say that, Mike. I’ve been doing the Carrot Ranch challenges this Oct – all 8 of them!! Maybe next year, though! I like a challenge. 🙂

      1. I snapped pictures of all the outsize candies around Christmas last year: 10 pound Hershey’s, a 3 pound gummy worm, and a giant Ferrero Roucher (that turned out, misleadingly, to be a round container full of regular ones).
        Your monster truck candy corn would be a good addition to that aisle.

  4. Cruel. You are too, too cruel. I’m not sure you set aside your hatred of Halloween to write this one. I hope your son makes you dress up like a fun-size treat and then drags you out for trick or treating.

  5. A monster truck sized Snickers bar would be truly worthy of a poof!
    Candy corn is only good when mixed with peanuts. Then when it’s all mixed up in your mouth together it tastes like caramel.

  6. I just said the same on someone else’s entry but it’s worth repeating: I’ve never had candy corn! But I’m guessing from this story (and the comments) that monster truck-sized candy corn would not be a good thing. Good luck with the contest 🙂

  7. I felt so present in that gulp, facing a shadowy, powerful figure. Too bad he was a real jerk!!
    P.S. Fun sized candy bars have zero calories. I read it on the internet. It’s true.

  8. Love the idea of a candy corn as big as a monster truck…for a boy who was being greedy! Because honestly, who wants a giant candy corn? We all know chocolate is WAY better!!! 🙂 And love your skipping, giggling sorceror 🙂 As for “fun-sized”? SO subjective! In my opinion, “fun-sized” should be DOUBLE the size of a normal chocolate bar, not HALF! Thanks so much for joining in the Halloweensie fun, even though you hate Halloween! 🙂

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