Once upon a time I asked, “What do you want me to post about?”
Remember when I asked that? It was a rather long time ago, I admit.
You responded — and your wish is my command. It might take me a while, but I will get to each and every one of your requests (even Sarah W’s).
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Since this Ask-Me-a-Question-and-I’ll-Answer-It thing is going a lot slower than I had ever imagined, I thought I’d use today’s post to wrap up a few of the pithier questions:
Vanessa writes: “I would like a post about what you’re looking at on the ceiling please. That, or something about your favourite snacks.”
Oh, you lovely Brits. I love how you always throw in a superfluous “U” in words like “favorite.” Anyhoo, my favorite snack is ice cream. In the photo I am looking at the ceiling trying to figure out how ice cream got up there. Smart money says my son is somehow responsible.
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Limebird Beth writes: “I would like a post on what really is the cat’s whiskers.”
I’m assuming Beth wants to know what I think is the cat’s pajamas. If so, I have pretty much answered that question in this post. I would, however, like to add goats to that list. Hmm. Come to think of it, I did a post about goats, too.
I guess what I’m trying to tell you, Beth, is pay attention!
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Professor VJ Duke and Domingosaurus both asked me to write about banjos.
Thanks Professor Domingo! All I can say is that the banjo is the most joyful instrument on earth. Even Charlie Brown agrees with me:
Oh, and one more thing: I play my banjo terribly.
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Catherine Johnson asked me to post a video of me playing my banjo.
Thanks for writing, Catherine! And no.
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So there you have it this time! Be sure to check in again. Query Response #5 is (maybe) coming soon!
Hey, Look! A Writer Fellow! 
I like that you’ve answered my question, but I’m not so keen on you describing it as pithy! Pithy?! This doesn’t bode well for our interview session coming up 😉 Icecream is a good snack, in fact it’s one of my favoUrites too. On the ceiling of my bathroom for quite a while were lumps of tissue – my son had discovered that if he crumpled up tissue, wet it, and threw it hard up at the ceiling it would stick. And stay. Forever. There was loads of it up there for ages, months I’m ashamed to admit!
My dear Vanessa, do not be insulted! I am merely saying that you are able to craft a question in a clear, concise and effective way! I am eager to see more to these questions soon. I am also eager to respond to such questions in a unfocused and rambling way — for I am without pith.
I suspect you will be my favoUrite interviewer!
Thank you for the humour. By the way, we keep the u here in Canada. Like the British, we like u. Humour, harbour, favour… And then there’s centre, theatre, and metre. Just wanted to publicise that.
Thank you so much for visiting! This blog welcomes Canadians (and their extra U’s) with open arms and a generous serving of pure maple syrup.
And, personally, I adore the way you use “re” instead of “er”. It’s classy.
Ice cream is a major component of my dietary requirements, ‘specially since the local company is making their pumpkin again—and cinnamon, too!
I beg to differ on your third answer: The most joyful instrument is the rainstick, tied with the didgeridoo—or possibly tied to a digeridoo, ’cause I’m all about the musical evolution and also, apparently, oxygen deprivation.
But the banjo is right up there with the ukelele, accordion, and bagpipes in my list of instruments that transcend their traditional reputations as musical jokes when they’re played well, but mostly don’t because the world. to its detriment, is not full of Steve Martins, Kermit the Frogs, or Weird Al Yankovics.
I understand your thinking re: didgeridoos and rainsticks, but these instruments aren’t all that good at producing melodies, which, for me, knocks them down a notch or three. I’m with you all the way with accordions, ukes, and bagpipes, however.
And Martin, Yankovic, and Frog are three of my favorite (or favourite) musicians!
Hey, you said “fun,” not “melodic.” 😀
I guess i just find melodies funner.
Funner than a didgeridoo? Dude.
Funner to the max.
Has anybody spotted the irony of Mike using a word with three U’s in to describe too many U’s or is this comment superfluous ha! ha! ha! haaaa!
I sure hadn’t! Good eye, my friend. Good eye.
I think most of us would agree with Catherine. We want to see a video of you playing the banjo. We will all work together to make sure it goes viral on Youtube.
And that, my friend, is the reason why it will never happen!
Let’s see Sarah Hale play the ukulele then…
I’ll talk about Sarah’s uke skills in my book’s sequel: “Sarah Gives Thanks 2: Thank Harder!”
Coming to a bookstore near you in 2015!
Hmmm, we have chocolate cake and frosting on the ceiling of our car. All the wee folk we chauffeur around in the back seat think it looks like poo. Perhaps we should consider cleaning the ceiling (instead of just smearing it around with a napkin), but then, the stain provides nonstop entertainment for those wee folk in the back seat. Not an insignificant consideration.
I want to see a video of you playing the banjo. Perhaps we should start a petition.
Poop humor never gets old.
Also, one is never too old for poop humor; I am living proof of this.
Good luck with your petition. But I — normally so supportive of all things Hoffmann — shall not sign it.
Ice cream is the most important of all food groups.
But, can you play the banjo and eat ice cream at the same time?
Can anyone?
Ice cream on the ceiling. Now that does sound rather appealing. Cause when it’s up there — and you’re in your chair, you’ll eat less (I have a feeling).
Nah. I’m just gonna get a stepladder and lick it off.
I have to agree about the banjo being joyful! Have you ever seen Steve Martin’s SNL bit where he sings about murder etc to a happy banjo tune? So funny! And I second Catherine!!!! I want a video of you playing banjo! And why would anyone waste perfectly good ice cream on a ceiling? Get up there and lick it off!
Trust me, Susanna. When you aske me to play the banjo, you don’t know what you’re asking. By NOT playing, I am performing a public service.
Give me a banjo and a harmonica and you give me happiness. I won’t know what to do with them, but they just make me happy.
Amen!
I can tell we are going to be good friends, Aussa.
Excellent!
Okay, I have a pithy question or two. Can good bango playing also make you cry? Because when I think of a joyful instrument, I actually go immediately to the violin. When it plays a lyrical over-the-top amazing piece, my heart literally begins swelling. Ode to Joy in my soul! However, no other instrument like the violin can bring me to my knees, crying. Can the banjo do that?
And don’t tell me that if YOU are playing the banjo, I would end up on my knees crying.
Or, if you are going to claim it – PROVE it. and post your joyful-banjo-playing video.
How’s that for pithy???
Here here Pam:-) Proof, proof, proof!!!
I’ve seen pithier!
Tell ya what, smartypants: Post a video of you playing the violin and I’ll post a banjo video.
I’ll split the difference. I’ll post a video of me LISTENING to the violin, if you post one of you PLAYING the banjo. Fair enough?
Not even close.
Ice-cream on the ceiling?! Now THAT’S my kind of office:-) H xxxx
Oh, you’re quite the troublemaker, aren’t you?